To the moon and back
“I love you to the moon and back.” This statement probably sounds familiar. Maybe you have also said this to your boyfriend/girlfriend or to your child or partner. You then say this to let them know how much you love the other person. In my childhood I sometimes said this to my best friends. I didn’t know then that there was an even greater way of love. God’s love.
One of the first lessons at the Full-time School was about ”God’s desire”. I had previously read Martin Dol’s book (In Search of Intimacy with God), but this time it really hit me. Martin told us that when you love someone, you long to be with them. Yet it sometimes happens that love is one-sided. This is how it can be with God’s love for us. However, no matter what we do, there are no conditions attached to God’s love for us. You can neither earn it nor lose it.
Worldly revenue model
Personally, I have/had difficulty with the fact that I do not have to earn God’s love, because I have experienced something different myself. The focus in the world around us is also; you get what you deserve. If you do well at work, school or church, you will be rewarded. Such a reward can consist of good grades, promotion, an excellent reputation, but also words of praise from others. When the opposite happens, the consequences are usually negative. In some cases you may even feel punished. That’s how it felt to me with God. When I spent a lot of time with Him I pleased Him. On the other hand, if I didn’t, He would be angry and I expected punishment.
On October 27, we went for a family composition in the afternoon with Sharing & Praying (a lesson part of the Full-time School). There I was confronted with a deep pain of loneliness. I then went for a walk to release all my emotions and to sort out my thoughts. I told God how alone and lonely I always felt. At one point I tearfully said to God, “Where were you all this time?” Then I had an image in my mind; in which God made it clear to me that from the moment I was given up and exposed, that God’s Spirit was already with me. Finally, God explained to me that even before I accepted Him as my Heavenly Father, He already loved me and was with me unconditionally.
The Goose Other
God is so different from people. Even when we don’t desire Him, He always desires us. More than we could ever desire Him. How special is it that He does not judge us if we cannot (yet) fully respond to His love. He is there and loves you, you, me unconditionally.
In the following self-written poem I have expressed what Jesus’ love means to me:
His dying breath
is our living oxygen
His crying scream of despair
brings us hope and strength
The nails in His hands have been made
the way free for the loving
embrace from the Father
The love of God is not to the moon and back, but from the cross to the throne. Whether you can accept it or not, His love is Agapè.
This blog was written by one of our 23 beautiful students at the Full-time Royal Mission School in Drachten. They experience ‘the year of their lives’ together through education, internships, coaching and living together as disciples. Read more about our Bible school: www.royalmissionschool.nl