Second love, the solution!?

Do you know the website There has been a lot of advertising in the Netherlands for a few years to get in touch with a partner via this site. Not just any partner. No, a second partner. For when you are happily married, but no longer experience that sparkling, loving and exciting experience. This website offers a great solution for that. At least that’s what they say themselves. Stay married, but have a relationship on the side.

When I first heard the commercial on the radio last year, I honestly couldn’t believe my ears. Immediately all kinds of thoughts and feelings came to mind: anger, sadness, frustration and pain about a declining Netherlands.

We have lost our first love on several fronts. We haven’t put enough effort into deepening love. Due to our rapid addiction to happiness, we do not know how to deal with setbacks and we are no longer able to recognize the enormous value of ‘persistence’, ‘loyalty’ and ‘patience’. I need a feeling of happiness again today, possibly tomorrow. To achieve this, we look for all kinds of things to satisfy that craving for happiness.

A second love then seems like a serious solution. However, it won’t be. In no case do I believe that is a solution. The Bible also talks about losing first love. In Revelation 2:4, Jesus speaks to the church in Ephesians. He addresses them about the fact that they have left their first love. In a marriage, first love will always fade over time. Due to busyness and circumstances, it happens that the sparkling, the love of the bridal period, fades away. You know that in advance. That’s why you promise at town hall and in church that you will always stay together. In wealth and poverty, sickness and health. You will connect with each other for life. The trick lies in continuing to talk to each other, sharing your deepest secrets and pain. Also continue to do fun things together. Taking time for each other.

Margreet and I also discovered this. When we went through all kinds of hustle and bustle (Kingdom hustle and bustle!?) felt that we were growing apart, something had to be done! It was quite intense to discover that love does not grow by itself, but that you can work on it! We learned to find shapes step by step to get closer to each other again. Talking, walking and occasionally doing something special together was the key to renewed first love for us.

As Royal Mission we want to help Christians and thus the church to rediscover first love. The first sparkling and powerful love from which the church emerged is the source of life, where True happiness can be found. However, this fades into the background if we do not take enough time for this. You grow apart when you don’t spend time with your Heavenly Father.

The wood-burning stove will slowly go out if a log of wood is not placed on it again and again. This applies to your relationship with your partner as well as in your relationship with God.

1 John 3:16 We have come to know and trust in the love of God that is in us. God is love. Whoever abides in love abides in God, and God abides in him

About Gerlof Wiersma

Man van Margreet - Vader van drie kanjers - Jeugdwerker, spreker en gepassioneerd voor de PKN

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